Still Hurt

I am sitting in a puddle of my own darkness
And I don’t even know how I got here
There are things that I know to be true,
And yet still alotta things that are not clear

Like I know that Jesus is my sustainer,
My rock, my fortress, and my shield,
But how come after all that fasting
And all that praying,
I still don’t feel healed?

God, I am experiencing an excruciatingly
Deep kind of pain,
And some good godly advice
Is to call out Jesus name
To lift it up in prayer
Cause yes, Jesus cares,
But how come that darkness still exists,
And that pain is still there?

What the pastors and the teachers
And the deacons and the preachers
Forget to tell you is that while
Jesus is a solution,
He’s not a quick fix,
You can’t just mix in 3 cups of Jesus blood,
Like he’s serving up Nesquicks.

Lord you said in your word that you would
Never leave me or forsake me,
But I still feel alone
And I’m supposed to be a child of God,
But my church treat me like I'm spiritually grown

I gotta be honest, I’m tired of confessing,
I can’t take no more testing,
The world is closing in and my darkness
Is pressing,
Lord tell me what to do while I’m waiting on
My blessing.

And just when it seemed like I had nothing left to say
I heard it all of a sudden, just as clear as day
A small still voice whispering in my ear,
It said “Son, even though your pain is still there,
Just remember that I’m still here”.

I’m the one that spoke light into darkness
With just one word.
But for you to think that your pain will be gone
Just like that, brother that’s just absurd.
See, even the light don’t take away the night
In just one instance, it's a flowing process
until all the darkness is gone
Day don’t start at midnight
it’s when the sun comes up at dawn
I’m gonna turn it around in the midnight hour
But I need you to pray through it cause
It'll give your faith some power

So I need you to keep praying,
Keep trusting,
Cause I’m working this out for your good
And when I take you through it
It’ll bless your whole neighborhood
So yes, I’m still your sustenance
Your rock, your refuge, and your shield
I’m tryna get you right so you can go out
Into the field
And encourage somebody whose life
You need to build.

So don’t throw out your struggles
Cause your pain comes with a process
Don’t disregard your L’s cause
There’s lessons in your losses

I would love to take away your pain
Trust me, if it’d help you I would
But even in your darkness,
Remember that I am God, and I am still good.