M.M.M.

Finally I have a chance to sit and write out my testimony to share with all.

But by no means is this for a personal gain or acknowledgment. This is to give glory and honor to the Almighty God for His delivering power and His redemption. Additionally it is to be transparent to help anyone who is struggling with the homosexual lifestyle or is curious about the homosexual lifestyle.

My Testimony:

Mmmm.. where do I start. Do I start from the day the devil sold me lies; or the day when I exchange my female identity to mimic a guy; or the day when I first saw two females having sex and was entertained at the age of five.

Well.. I'll start with when the devil sold me lies.

The devil.. he is crafty; he's deceitful; he's cunning; and he's the father of lies.
It started at the age of five..

misunderstood, and innocent..

so he thrive..

he used, misused, and abused what was dear to me: my trust.

now wounded, and now blind

was I at the age of five.

Fast forwarding about 10 years later down the line..

what was planted at the age of five, manifested into
do I even like guys?

Questioning my identity.. how blind was I..

but remember that was apart of the lie that devil sold me when I was five..

the other part consisted of: dressing like a guy, acting like a guy, and doing everything I can be so dominant like a guy..
that I fell for the number one lie: I was born this way.. I was gay.

My life was flashy, was miserable, but I was always living in the moment.
I had the money, the girls, the clothes, a good paying job, and so on..

but that was on the exterior..
but within I had:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

(none that was listed above the numbers 1 through five).

I was lost, I was hurt, I was misused, I was lied to, I was curious, I was misunderstood, and I was confused. 

So.. all of what I thought was my peace, my joy, my happiness, and my world.. came crumbling down fast. I was living like a savage. I got addicted to drugs: weed, dro, cigarettes, and probably some other stuff; alcohol, partying, and living reckless.

My life was truly a MESS! But let me tell you how God blessed!

Fast forwarding a year or two later.. my best friend was attending this church (but I never knew anything about it.) He ministered to me about the salvation of Jesus Christ. How He can be my Savior and my light!

How He can turn everything around in my life, only if I surrender and give my all to Him on that particular night. So he ask me to attend church with him this one night, and I did. I went, and actually enjoyed myself.

And honestly speaking... I felt joy, I felt free, I felt like I can live..  but all within. 

So the Bishop prayed for me and the Pastor led me to the Lord, by having me to accept the Lord as my Savior and to become Lord over my life from then on out.


So I accepted it, and was so happy with out a doubt.
I felt like a caged bird that was finally set free...
I felt like the sun at it's peak..
I felt fresh, I felt renewed, I felt like.. this feels like the real me..

but all within.. I felt this experience.  

So as time went on, I attended the services but on the side I was still doing me.
I was still partying, clubbing, drinking, smoking, turnin' up, and doing any and everything that kept me in bondage in the beginning..

Not knowing that all of that, soon had it's ending. 

But how many know that God has a cut off time?
And my cut off time, was when He put me at a cross roads in my life.
To either stop playing church and fully serve Him with all of my heart, mind, body, and soul. And live my life right..

Or to continue playing around with the devil, and get hurt, get deeper into sin, and become blind all over again..

So I tried to live righteous in my own strength: to stop doing all the things that was wrong. I tried it in my strength thinking I could really stop on my own. But I couldn't. Every step I made forward, some how I ended up ten steps back (and everyday I was like rewind on a track.)

Until God put me at another crossroads in my life. And this time it was, which do you want?
God and His Kingdom: to where I can have everything my heart longed for, everything that's righteous, lovely, peaceful, and joyful. Or continue going around the same old mountains, playing the same old games, dealing with the same old people, and getting the same old negative results.

And I will admit, this change was very hard. But deep down within I really, really wanted to change. Because I was honestly tired of frontin', I was tired of manipulating girls to have sex, guys for their drugs, playing mind games with people's emotions to get what I wanted, hurting people, and being lied to and played.

So when I finally wanted to surrender within my heart, God delivered step by step: from the drugs, then the alcohol, then the bad friends, then doing the same old negative things, and each time He was renewing my mind. And finally He delivered me from homosexuality, the lustful desires, the fantasy lusts, and so much more that was causing my heart and soul to rust. 

All of that came from earnestly praying, being apart of a church (so I could be taught the Word of God), having a active relationship with God, keeping it real with God (not holding back anything), being filled with the Holy Ghost (which is the evidence of speaking in other tongues); fasting, having strong spiritual Christian friends (that are sold out completely for Jesus), and the desire to change and never go back (by the grace of God.)

Be encouraged. If God delivered me from all that and so much more, He can most definitely do the same for you to. For in His Word it says: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." (Genesis 1:27) You were made to be righteous! You were made to be apart of God's Kingdom, and to be effective in His Kingdom.

If you're already caught up in that lifestyle, and really want a way out (but don't know how and where to make that step.) Just know that in Romans 10:13 it says: "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be save." If you earnestly from your heart want to be delivered from this strong hold in your life, and you're really tired of living that way: Ask God to direct you of where to go to get your deliverance, healing, and to be taught the Word of God. Remember if you are serious about this, you will be tested. But remember "No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Also if you're caught up in that lifestyle because of peer pressure, being curious, thinking no man can make you feel like how a woman can, or because of deep hurt, molestation, or something tragic. Remember God is a deliverer who can be trusted! And His Word will not fail you!

Pray, Fast, and get answers from God. 

God loves you and wants help you! Receive all of what God has for you today!