Testimony Time-Daniel Moody

I have run across some drastic storms during my lifetime, but wording my storms “drastic” would be an understatement. I always thought to myself; “maybe if they put their pinky toe inside of one of my shoes, then maybe they would understand why I act they I do.” It’s hilarious now because you all are about to put your entire foot into my life, and I am glad that this is happening because not too many people who’ve dealt with this struggle speak up. However, I believe God gave me this voice to speak to the lost, encourage those who are afraid to ask for help, and show this world that there is NOTHING FUN about being held captive in your sin. I was broken, a mess, disturbed, traumatized, and even afraid. It’s normal to feel scared when you’re wanting to come to God, you get that anxious thought of “What would the world think of me? Am I worthy enough for God to love me again? I messed up 5 bazillion times and I don’t think I am ready to commit.” Well let me slap some transparency on this blog, to help you cope with saving your soul.

Well as you all may or may not know I’ve dealt with the struggle of sexuality forever, and no I was not born that way so before you lie to yourself I encourage you to go open a bible that’s very relevant in today’s generation and read about how God really views you. However, I was a kid. A legit innocent optimistic child who was care free to the point that I couldn’t wait to slip on my power rangers Pj’s at night. Unfortunately, I was experimenting I guess you could say with my cousin. No, I was not raped nor was I a pervert, I was asked if I wanted to play a game which involved sexual interaction with my cousin. Now mind you while I was doing this I saw nothing of it. Call it what you want but when your parents keep you sheltered as a child you’re not going to know any better.

Most parents believe that “protecting” their children and enforcing manhood at an early age is good for their son. It’s absolutely HELL, and to be quite honest if you’ve been raised like that I beg of you to break that generational curse. Praying for your children is never NOT included in the parenting routine, I mean we pray about everything else so why not pray for your kids? Any who I felt like what we were doing was ok, but we were too young to be doing stuff like this. It’s crazy because the first time we did it we got caught, and my mom had beaten me…. but she had beaten me like I was a random dude off the street. That was the triggering point of me shutting my mom out of how I was feeling about guys. Me and my cousin constantly kept messing around with each other, and that demon grew more and more each time. I remember when I was in 2nd grade and I had my first guy crush, we’re going to call him “C”. Hopefully “C” found Christ, and is getting his hairline snatched by the holy ghost like me on a daily.

Furthermore, I was OBSSESED with C man, I would try and sit near him write like him, and I’d just stare at him forever because I was fascinated by his appearance. I never shot my shot (THANK YOU JESUS *Cries in tongues*). I was young and being openly gay, bi, lesbian, etc. was NOT the thing back in the early 2000’s. I eventually got over C and minded my confused business as a second grader. Second grade was also a rough time for me because my heart, soul, and best friend (my grandma) died of cancer when she was 55. Man April 23rd, 2004 was not my day and I was just over everything at this point. However, my mom packed her stuff up and moved to Atlanta Georgia (Atlanna Gawja) *ratchet voice* This is where my sexual desires for men started to increase, so in 3rd grade I found a new crush named “I”. Now “I” was popular, cool, iconic (in his own way), and I was new, lame, unattractive, and still confused about my sexuality.

Now “I” was cool at first until we got to 5th grade and he wanted to fight me, in my head I was just like “WOOOOOW so this is what its like to get your heartbroken.” Side note: he was currently dating my best friend at the time, and she didn’t really defend me *inserts upside down smiling emoji face here* It’s cool though she is forgiven, and I pray that she’s doing amazing with what she’s doing. Also, I pray that she’s getting her edges tossed around but the holy ghost, because I really would love to see her in heaven again. Anyways, I had a trash elementary school experience, because I mean who in the heavens would want their crush to fight them? But I had to part ways from “I”, because I moved to another school zone. Now this was my middle school days, and this is where people started calling me gay, fruity, faggot, etc. I would straight up go home and just feel worthless, because everyone was mean to me except like 5 people who I still talk to daily. Now in middle school?!? Man, the kids were starting to somewhat glo up, and I was starting to somewhat become a mental jezebel. Meaning I would have sexual thoughts, and I mean on a daily too. Well the thoughts weren’t explicit yet, they were mild like a kiss. Man, middle school was a trying year for me, because I got into my first fight and lost *Inserts laughing emoji* However, I had a round two and I acted like a maniac towards that poor boy.

I was shook that I can be that violet and crazy to be honest, and the fact that my peers thrived off of that type of interaction was pretty scary. *fast Forwards to 8th grade* Now this was the year I really got bullied, I mean bad and I was telling my teachers and they weren’t even trying to diffuse the situation. My 3 friends were my teachers because they would fight my battles for me. Now in 8th grade 3 drastic things happened: 1.) I officially found interest in a girl. 2.) I started masturbating. 3.) I made the football team *inserts laughing emoji* Now throughout all of that, I still felt rejection from everybody in my grade level. However, the girl that I liked I’m going to call her “Dy”. She was beautiful, nice long hair, a cheerleader, and an honor student. Then there’s me a chubby, extra dark, gap toothed, sexually confused football player who was bullied. Now we’ve had our moments I even wrote her a song and sang it to her in the class. I think that was the most trifling thing I could do because she had a boyfriend *inserts dead skull face emoji* I felt like she had some type of interest in me, orrrrr maybe she was just being nice.

Either way my love for her carried over to high school. Now in high school I had like 125,587,854 crushes, but only like 2 of them meant something to me at the time. I remember seeing my first MAJOR high school crush, I was going to open house (that is when you’re going to your classes before the first day of school). I honestly felt like I was in love, and to be honest if shawty would’ve noticed me I probably would’ve been a mess. We’ll call this crush “Jay”. Every girl wanted Jay and Jay knew it to. However, I really wanted Jay at the time but then again, I was still stuck on Dy. My life was in shambles because I literally wanted Jay so bad that I probably would have sex with them. *Starts shouting because I wasn’t a fool and kept that virginity on CLANK CLANK in high school*. However, I mentally put Jay to the side and I just started becoming an official mental jezebel. Now my freshmen year was a mess because that’s the year my mom found out about my sexuality, and to be honest she didn’t handle the situation well at all.

Well she found out because my foolish behind was being a little unsaved thot pocket on Facebook. I was talking to grown men that were like 23, 25, 30. Here I am in high school acting like I’m cool for talking to somebody’s uncle, and not realizing the danger I am putting myself into. Well unfortunately I left my Facebook page up, and she saw EVERYTHING. My mom literally came outside and flipped out on me, and I’m just confused until she tells me why she’s acting crazy. “SO, YOU LIKE NIGGAS NOW?!” Yep my life was over. I was through. Jesus could’ve cracked the sky, and I would’ve been ok with that. My mom tormented me verbally, physically, she almost kicked me out the house. I had to beg her that I wouldn’t like guys anymore, and that I’ll be straight. Ha! And the lie detector test determined that, that was a lie! I still was doing my dirt because, I completely lost respect for my mom as a woman, mother, and just as a human being. I literally couldn’t stand her and HATED that she was my mom. Furthermore, freshmen year ended and that summer before sophomore year I got jumped, because I answered my cousins phone. I was on 1,000 like I had no choice but to run into my aunties house, because I couldn’t fight them all. It took me until this year to forgive them because I still wanted my one. (That means I was ready to knuck and buck on some kids). However, that summer was a mess because I was dealing with that case and still lowkey liking men. Let's fast forward now this is like almost the end of my sophomore year of high school, and there’s this freshman and we’ll call him “Dee”. Now Dee is a basketball player, tall, you know a womanizer, but Dee was different because he legit talked to me with his eyes.

Have you all conversed with someone that you thought was attractive with your eyes? Yep that’s what Dee and I both did; every time we saw each other we would lock eyes. Wow I sound like that corny character that you’re all rooting for to fall in love. HA! (My life story in a sentence). But we never like interacted with each other but like probably five times. During those five times of conversation I assumed that I was in heaven. I clearly was not high off the Holy Spirit, however I clearly thought otherwise. But I had to let him go because he dusty to me. (Not trying to be rude at all, but this was my past perception. He is obviously not dusty to me anymore). Now let’s skip to my senior year the TRANSFORMATION YEAR! I was fed up with everyone in my class, because they did not like me, and the feeling was highly mutual. They all were ashy to me and I was just this gay kid who became a bully. Yep, I was a straight bully that is where my anger, hands, and bickering came from. I was always on 10 and I didn’t care who you were, you are talking reckless you could get these hands. Boy, girl, teacher, elderly, I even fought toddlers. I did it at vacation bible school *inserts face palm emoji* THANK GOD FOR DELIVERANCE! No, but it was Christmas break of my senior year, and my “friends” turned on me on something foolish. Long story short I was telling them to chill out about arguing and they turned up on me, then they did something that really made me sooooo upset. They made a post about me saying that I was going to hell for liking men, so at that moment I had 2 options: 1.) Come back to school and sabotage their relationships, and knocking them out on sight. 2.) Let it ride be a boss and graduate.

I obviously chose to graduate because if I would’ve acted on the first option, I was going to get kicked out of school. Then I’d really had to act out as a heathen *inserts upside down smiling face emoji* So I let them have it and focused on my studies second semester of my senior year. I was trying to get to New York because I wanted to be on Broadway so bad, however my mom came and killed that goal at the time. However, I never gave up. I said that I was going to get to New York regardless. However, the rest of my senior year was straight, I was just ready to LEAVE! All my friends left before me, so I was ready to GO! Now before I get into my college life, I started going to my current home church; Restoration of Life Through Jesus Christ Ministries. Man, the conviction I was feeling when I went to that church was REAL! I loved the church because I was WAITING for God to tell me “I never made you that way, you were never created to like both sex.” I eventually ended up loving the church so much to the point that I joined the church. Now there was a bunch of youth in that church, and I was still on that knuck if you buck on sight process. However, as I left high school and I sat out that 1st semester with NO JOB……. NO CAR……. JUST TWITTER…. AND MY BED…. God was still speaking to me through it all. This is when Mike Brown was killed, and the world was really falling to shambles. This was also the time Eric Garner died (sorry if I misspelled his name). But yep I saw that video on Facebook, and I was like “WHY ISNT THIS VIRAL YET?!?!”

My heart was heavy by the worlds foolishness. I also was losing my dad at the same time. My dad taught me so much and he didn’t even trip like how my mom did when she found out that I was thottin and boppin with people’s uncles on Facebook. Yes, he got on my nerves and we bumped heads, but I loved him, and he always told me how much he loved me. *Fast Forward to 2015* I STARTED COLLEGE!!!!! LIT LIT LIT LIT LITTTYYY! Now I was a good student, but I told myself that I was going to tone down a bit when I got to college. I did not want people to call me gay again, I had enough of encounters in high school. However, I still had people talking out the side of their neck, and I would be ready to fight. Haha this is funny because this is how I came to Christ. I literally threw a girl across the campus lounging area, for putting her hands on me. Y’all this was really a crazy moment for me because I straight up had my dad dying in front my face every day, I was skipping classes because I couldn’t handle it, I even started having sex with men. I’m sorry but that experience and the rest of them were TRASH. TRASH. AND MORE T-R-A-S-H. Penetration is not the move; God did not create sex to hurt and feel uncomfortable. Back to the story of me almost fighting this girl, once she put her hands on me I just grabbed her face and threw her. After that I honestly believe God blew in my eyes to make me realize where I was at. At that moment I avoided her trying to come at me (Thank God, she missed every single swing). Then shawty got the cops involved, and I honestly was over it. I called my mom cussing to her about the poor girl. Once the cops got involved I had to go into the police building and fill out a report, now this girl is going to tell the cops I hit her first. UM NOT TODAY SATANNA!!!!! I literally almost went to jail because she was lying on me, it’s crazy because I told God that if he gets me out of this I’m running to the altar. Out of no where the cop came back and told me that a class seen her attacking me, and that I was good to go.

Now I was going to press charges on her but my friends that was ready to pounce on her to said, “nah let her be.” Honestly after that I dropped everyone except for like 2 people. I also came to Christ on February 14th, 2016. However, I was not delivered! I was sneaking men into my mom’s house, while she was gone, and I was having sex with them. My dad was in the house in the bed dying daily, and I was acting very selfish, foolish, and like I had completely lost it. However, my pastor knew what was up, when I tell y’all that God straight up talks to this man… I… WAS…. SHOOKETH…. I was called to the altar every day in 2015-2016. God was like “nah you’re going to be up here until that demon leaves you buddy.” However, on September 14th, 2016 my dad had died. I was prepared but I wasn’t. I had to become the man of the house and honestly, I was scared. Now everyone was going to rely on me and I didn’t know anything about being a leader. However, as time passed I became equipped to handling the household. I eventually left school and got a job and worked there every single day. We eventually had to move out of our old house because, it was my dad’s daughter in law niece’s house, and the landlord wanted to kick us out. My mom was house hunting her life away until BAM! We ran into our cousin down here in Atlanta who builds houses. Man, my mom finally got her dream home built, and she was so in awe with God. However, the devil tried to come in and interrupt that process which left us homeless for a week, I literally lived in a hotel with my family for a week. I was still having sex on the low and I was still panicking, but I was wanting to leave that lifestyle.

However, God pulled through on the last day because I got tired of running to a no-good man for sex. So, I got on my knees in that little hotel room and I told him “Look man you did not bring my family in the process to leave us here.” I had faith, but I was also irritated with the waiting process, buuuuuuuuuuuuut WE GOT THE HOUSE!! It was only one thing left that still was messed up… It was me. I was still sleeping with men, low self-esteem, confidence on zero, and I wasn’t in school. My life was in shambles, but I had a group of people who you all may know on twitter. Tamara, Villard, Nita, Justin, and Jemiah literally seeing the man inside of me. I called Justin one night to talk to him, but Villard and Tam was on the phone as well. Villard asked me how I was doing, and I felt like he could hear my lies clear as day. But he interrupted and told me that he sees the man inside of me, he told me that God loves me, and I can be delivered. Side note: I asked Villard to help deliver me before, but I was scared. But that night I was tired Satan winning. I really wanted my own victory back and on that night, I received the Holy ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues.

I had 15 demons inside of me from these events and more. I truly was a mess and now I am here to tell you that first, God did not make any mistakes when he made you. He made man in his image (Genesis 1:27). Also (1 Corinthians 6:9-11 states: “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” NLT) I have been made new and that isn’t my life anymore, I AM FREE! Yes, the devil still tries to attack me, but I slap him right with a scripture every time. Whether I must paraphrase the scripture or remember each letter of the verse, I say it with authority and faith. I am a LIVING BREATHING TESTIMONY. I had unprotected sex and I am STD FREE! I have stolen, and I am not in jail. I’ve disobeyed my mom, reacted out of my emotions and I am still living!?! Come on man you cannot tell me God doesn’t have favor over my life. And just like he saved me he can save you as well. Homosexuality isn’t a disease, nor should it be tolerated when a lot of homosexuals are hurting inside.

“How do you know that they’re hurting?” Well if you read my testimony you’d see that I was one of them, and I know many more who were touched as a child, experimented, or was exposed to that lifestyle. A lot of homosexual man desired a wife and kids, but Satan caught them at an early age. So, could you do me a favor and give that black man who’s struggling with his sexuality a chance? Listen to their story before you put the book back on the shelf. Peace and blessings to you all and may God continue to restore you all with his love and grace! *inserts smiling emoji face* (“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1 NLT )